BoBorBón Apologizing

Barcelona is a Big Phony

I'm fed up with tourists in Barcelona. Not totally their fault, but the city has become a laughable image of herself. Barcelona is not Barcelona anymore. WE ARE CHEATING YOU! WE ARE PULLING YOUR LEG! WE ARE MAKING A FOOL OUT OF YOU!

We didn't eat tapas, we didn't dance flamenco, we didn't speak Spanish, and didn't do all those sort of things tourist guides written by drunkards and foreigners tell we do. This is it! Sorry to break your heart and expectations, but that's the real truth.

We contract the lumpen of the world to do the frolics. We dress them up into outfits to pretend and they performed as expected by you, tourists. Fake Gypsies, mainly from Argentina, dance made-up flamenco in front of tourists eating frozen paella. Indonesian waiters serve fake pa-amb-tomaquet with fake Iberico ham from Mercadona. Chinese bar tenders serve suspicious Southern-style tapas and Ecuadorians prepare Euskal pintxos. ALL FAKE!

Barcelona is a phony, and an expensive one. But, you, tourists, you are guilty for this because your ignorance is cosmic. You want to keep alive the stereotype created in the 60's mainly by Fascist government to save Spain from an economic collapse which was based on late S.XIX wrong interpretations of French romantic artists and musicians about Spain. But not even in 1850 was Barcelona as Bizet's Carmen. Gaudi would puke at what his work has become.

Anyway, keep coming, and we will keep cheating you all, at high rates. And keep reading "Lonely Planet" guides and taking a coffee at Pg. de Gracia's Starbucks and eating "local specialities" at Les Rambles' McDonalds. After all, we all get what we deserve: junk McBarcelona. Enjoy it.

La Escopeta Nacional

Another episode of shame starring a Bourbon, the stupidest royal family in the world. If it weren't enough that the not-very-clever son-in-law married to the slight less dumb of the two Infantas had been involved in one of the greatest corruption cases in recent Spanish history, not enough that the son of the dumbest of the two Infantas shot himself in his toes last week, that this week-end, the grandpa, the summit of the pyramid of nepotism, inbreeding, corruption, and dumbness, while killing endangered species in Botswana, stumbled and cracked his hip!

This guy has a manifest tendency in mixing alcohol, hunting, falling into the floor and killing endangered species. He lost a testicle when falling in a skiing accident; killed a drunk bear in Poland; fell in public after one of his heavy lunches. Oh! He killed his brother in another "hunting accident"

In brief, after all the cuts carried out in Spain to reduce the expenditure in useless things such as education and healthcare since the State is on the verge of bankruptcy from stupidly burning its declining income in saving scorched banks, subsidies, and re-painting benches in public parks, we can see how our money is really well spent, in this stupid family, which, by the way, is not Spanish.

Again, La Escopeta Nacional