I'm fed up with tourists in Barcelona. Not totally their fault, but the city has become a laughable image of herself. Barcelona is not Barcelona anymore. WE ARE CHEATING YOU! WE ARE PULLING YOUR LEG! WE ARE MAKING A FOOL OUT OF YOU!
We didn't eat tapas, we didn't dance flamenco, we didn't speak Spanish, and didn't do all those sort of things tourist guides written by drunkards and foreigners tell we do. This is it! Sorry to break your heart and expectations, but that's the real truth.
We contract the lumpen of the world to do the frolics. We dress them up into outfits to pretend and they performed as expected by you, tourists. Fake Gypsies, mainly from Argentina, dance made-up flamenco in front of tourists eating frozen paella. Indonesian waiters serve fake pa-amb-tomaquet with fake Iberico ham from Mercadona. Chinese bar tenders serve suspicious Southern-style tapas and Ecuadorians prepare Euskal pintxos. ALL FAKE!
Barcelona is a phony, and an expensive one. But, you, tourists, you are guilty for this because your ignorance is cosmic. You want to keep alive the stereotype created in the 60's mainly by Fascist government to save Spain from an economic collapse which was based on late S.XIX wrong interpretations of French romantic artists and musicians about Spain. But not even in 1850 was Barcelona as Bizet's Carmen. Gaudi would puke at what his work has become.
Anyway, keep coming, and we will keep cheating you all, at high rates. And keep reading "Lonely Planet" guides and taking a coffee at Pg. de Gracia's Starbucks and eating "local specialities" at Les Rambles' McDonalds. After all, we all get what we deserve: junk McBarcelona. Enjoy it.
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