Television in Spain is deadly rotten, and the stinkiest channel of all is Telecinco, the sewage of these dregs. Take all it is dead, all it is dreadful, all it is vile and vulgar, low and denigrating, putrefied and narrow-minding, and put it in a garbage bag, let it decompose for some weeks under a tropical sun, and then, maybe, then, you will have a glimpse of the size of the stench such channel spreads over the Hertzian waves. If the whole channel would disappear all of a sudden, the IQ of Spain, as incurable as it may appear to any objective observer, would recover immediately from the present lobotomized brain-mangled retard level to the able-to-breath-without-explicit-assistance coma level.
What does this shit look like? Basically, it is Berlusconi's Italian Tele 5 alla espagnola, which means less bellinas and more Belenes. Belen Esteban is the personification of this channel, or at least of the kind of people who find it amusing, the standard garru-guarras, aka Yolis, Vanes and Veros, and their male counterparts, the garrulators, Yonatans, Frans and Cristians. This TV channel provides them with all they need to be nourished, apart from bread and narcotics, and I'm not sure about the latter.
All I can see in its programming is Big Brother, talkshows about Big Brother, other side programs about people (to use a euphemism commonly accepted) in Big Brother or the like, and more talkshows featuring Belen Esteban and her infra-world. And from time to time, a movie. For example today, they took advantage of the recent release of Tim Burton's Alice and, guess what, they put a 3rd-rate Alice; more cheating the audience with rubbish. I'm waiting for a movie about volcanos, Pompey, plane crashes, or all together, according to their flee-leaped logic.
The other source of TV crap is Cuatro (5, 4, is it like a countdown to A-bomb-like blast of brain nullifying?). While Tele Cinco deals with fishy junk celebrities, Cuatro has democratized the exposure of utter vulgarity and has invented (woow, Spain finally invents something!) a whole new breed of TV programs where total scum explains its pointless life on TV. The origin is the program Callejeros, street dwellers. In their minds, they think, it is a research documentary about the tough lives of common people; in practice, it is just rambling around degraded suburbia interviewing junkies, whores, and all sorts of lumpen. And there have been a lot of spin-off programs, like Callejeros Viajeros, and the like in other channels.
I was not at all any gourmand of TV. I swear I could gobble any kind of junk; but now, after the time spent in Japan, a country with a TV as pointless as Spain (though not as filthy nor rotten) and with the aggravating that I had no clue of what they were saying, I got used to living without TV, apart from some series and movies; in original version if possible. I know, it sounds snobbish and elitist, but my stomach can't digest McTV anymore as it used to do. Am I getting old? No, just an ulcer.
Fuck Telecinco! Fuck Berlusconi!
A Duomo, a Duomo, my Kingdom for a Duomo!
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"the IQ of Spain, as incurable as it may appear to any objective observer," - a bit unfair, that comment. Other than that, great article man.
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